Thursday, June 24, 2010

in which oni gets SOAKED!

I went for a run and it was about ten millions degrees and mega humid and around the second mile the sky split and dumped neighborhood-sized bucket of cool water all over me.  Thunderstorms ftw :)  totally worth it as long as my ipod shuffle survives and my sneakers dry out eventually.  makes me very glad i have two pairs of running shoes :)

wet tank top contest!

indifferent cat is indifferent.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I have sand in my bed.

trying to edit, as per usual.  drinking iced coffee... found a packet of splenda in my sister's old purse.  already nervous about tomorrow morning's coffee and the only sweetener we have in stock at the batcave is nasty pink packet sugar substitute and i hate it.  tomorrow morning might just have to a dunkin donuts day.

i gave the pink ponies my first chapter and now i have even more edits to input on top of the conglomerated edits for pages 60-100.  and of course i have yet to conglomerate and then input the edits for the remaining 130 pages.  so... yeah.  uphill battle.  especially because the internet is more fun than inputting edits.  oh well.  the internets never made anyone independently wealthy.... oh wait yep they did.  but not me.  so i need to finish this damn novel already!  but if i do that then i have to begin the super-duper-scary rejection-fest that is shopping for an agent.  so... foot dragging and procrastination.

I spent the afternoon at the beach.  fan-freaking-tastic!  i love orchard beach.  i was the only white girl there, as per usual.  we braved the rain showers and we won because the last two hours were picture perfect beach day hours.  lots of swimming and sunning and fun.  i met a little girl (because i always do, because i am a child-magnet, a baby-whisperer, whatever) and we were playing in the ocean swimming around and stuff and she asked me how old i was and i did what i always do and asked her how old was she?  and she said 8.  and so i asked her how old did she guess i was and she said 13 and it made me laugh.  good times.
*note: i am 27.

I wanted to post pics from the garden so i'm gonna do that now ok?  (you can't actually stop me so just say ok, ok?)

my tomato plant has tomatoes on it!  go team green thumb.

woah brian just gave me half a burrito and it is like nuclear fire ball hot. why is everything so flipping spicy!!! my mouth hurts.

anyway that's my garden. basil and tomato and oregano and strawberry.

i don't have much room so i only grow foods.  decorative plants can be nice i guess but i've never bothered with them, excepting one jade plant that had immense sentimental value.  speaking of which, it had been living at my mom's for about three years, i should get a cutting.

i'm going upstate on the 27th so if you live around there i'll see you then :)

extraneous pictures i've been meaning to post:

one of my young charges is getting fitted for braces:
 her sister saw this photo, which their mom sent to us on my cell phone, and decided to shoot a mocking recreation of this pic back to her sister.  I wish i had saved it.  tres amusing.  Chloe is only five but she knows almost all the steps in creating and texting a  picture message. 

i like ice cream:

i like going to the pool with the children:

and trying on stuff at the mexican jewelry store:

ok my lovely lovelies.  my mouth still hurts and i drank all my iced coffee.  that's as good a reason as any to get back to work.

you like-a dah bronx, ehhhhhh?

holy moly i love where i live.  can you believe these pics?  scenic shit man!

here's my "friend" he is "happy"

zombie happy pirate!

brian and i are watching italy vs new zealand on UNIVISION!  I like saying UNIVISION!  i am not really watching, i am making a blog and drinking coffee but it is not that good because we don't have any splenda, or truvia, or sugar, or agave syrup OR any type of yummy creamers.  so i have the pink packet stuff uck yum cancery.

this is the bronx guys!!  pelham bay park.

I'm A MOTHERFLUCKIN BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (he swears because he lives near Co-Op City which is a project.  so cusses help him to express his feeling about his environs.)

I think brian is page jacking my facebook right now.  so if i say to you something horrible right now then it WASN'T ME.

and here's the beach.  i was gonna go to the beach later with ewaen
but i think it is going to be a thunderstorm so probably will go to the store to buy a present for Niyi as he is getting married.

here is my beach it is BEAUTIFUL is it not?

it's about 15 minutes away on the bx12 bus :)  most loverly.
ok what else?
me at the shore and ditty in a box.
better'n that stupid justin timberlake with d*ck in a box. ditty wins!

ok maybe more later  I have to go do editing :)

bad news bears.

no not like this:

bad news, bears!

it's kind of worse.  i can only best splain with a picture because it is so bad.

and i'm really tires and wanna sleep and i can't because my tummy hurts.

so i guess i'll tell you some stories about bears.  they are from when i lived in the cabin, which was in the woods. and by a pond.  that's important because critters like ponds (for drinking) and bears like critters (for eating!)

one story goes like this:

one time me and juss were sitting on the couch watching punky brewster.  it was all sunny and nice out which was great because it was almost always cold and snowing because we lived in stupid upstate new york and our house was summer house but in upstate new york it is hardly ever summer and our house leaked warm yet managed to contain and magnify all cold.  so we were watching punky brewster and having a nice afternoon and then a bear walked by the window.  he walked across the porch.  i was like "dude, i'm tripping balls." and he was all like, "nope, bear."  so we waited a while and cracked open the door that was in the living room because it faced the direction the bear ambled off in and we wanted to see if he was gone.  but he was not gone.  he was halfway up the hill and he was fighting the satellite dish.  he was up on his hind legs making bear sounds and then he busted the dish part off the stand part and then like stomped on the bits and went away.

the other story is like this:

one time i was running out on this road in the woods and i got distracted by berries or because i had to poop or something.  i have to poop sometimes when i go running and since i used to run in the woods a lot i had to poop in the woods a lot.  i went off the path and down by this creek and i was looking at this old stone wall because they are like everywhere up there because people used to think it was a good place to have a farm and it was if you like digging up rocks and boulders and moving them so you could farm.  and then you would have this land and this huge-ass pile of boulders so you would build a  a wall of them around your land so everyone would know this was a farm and not eat your radishes and shit.  but i guess that didn't work so well because there are only defunct farms mostly up there now.  and old rock walls like the one i was looking at.  but then i remember my cardiovascular fitness and whatnot and went back to the road to start running again and then something came out of the woods on the right side of the road.  it was really tall and hairy and jsut like ridiculously tall.  way too tall to be a person but my head wasn't being smart it was being all dehydrated and tired and so i thought it was a guy in a bear suit.  and hten i realized that it was a bear and I yelled "HEY BEAR" and then it looked at me (I was preety far away but not hugely far away) and then i realized that i did a stupid thing by yelling at it.  then it stopped looking at me, dropped to all fours and went off toward the creek, on the left side of the road, because maybe it had to poop or it wanted berries or something. 

the end.

ps. my tummy still hurts. 



Saturday, June 12, 2010

john lennon had a lot to teach us.

"All you need is love."

"All we are saying is give peace a chance."

"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."

"We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard, or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it."

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. 

"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination."

"Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry."

 I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong.

VirtuBene Presents Compassionate-Prophet John Lennon

this post goes out to mike houlihan, who works at the zoo.

for further reading please see LILEKS (James) : Institute  
where you will learn many interesting things about art, underpants, and celery.

and mikey boy, you best buy that emu a ring.

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